Friday, February 18, 2011

Friday's Funnies

I got this in my in-box the other day and had tears rolling down my face imagining this poor guy's predicament.  Hope it doesn't offend anyone, I didn't really want to change the author's words around to make it less offensive. I know it has nothing to do with horses but a laugh is a laugh and while I'm shoveling manure,  complaining about barn chores, riding in winter, etc... I'll remember this guy.

Subject: I Love My Job!

Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Bob is a commercial diver for ****** Divers in Louisiana. He performs
underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio station, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won. Read his letter below. 
Hi Sue, 
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few
technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.   

This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my *ss started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on  my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my *ss was not as fortunate.  When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my *ss.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.  His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was  wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put
the fire out, but I couldn't s**t for two days because my *ss was swollen shut. 
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your *ss. Now repeat to yourself,
'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.' 

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day? 
 Until next time 

Quote for Today
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!!  

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It's so nice of you to take the time to visit. I appreciate your stopping by and commenting on what I've written. Even though I sometimes don't have the time to reply to each comment, I do enjoy reading them.