A Christmas Wish List From Our Herd
During the morning feeding ritual I found this tacked to the wall with a horseshoe nail. This 'Christmas List' was scribbled to Santa with each horse’s wish for this year’s goodies:
Please, please, please bring me some nunchucks and a cool Karate DVD. I need them so I can hone my fighting skills and one day become the rightful herd leader. I’d be really good at it and Mellon is getting too old to tell me what to do anyway. Maybe then I’d get some respect and Blue would stop daring me to stick my tongue to the frozen hay rack... that hurts and everyone laughed at me! But I had to do it, just to show them I was tough!
Listen, here’s what I want for Christmas: I want a boombox and a black leather blanket. I’m too cool for the rest of these nerds and it’s about time everyone else knew it too. I wouldn’t mind a TV for my stall, either. It gets boring being stuck inside on icy days. Oooh, and a Tempurpedic mattress – I like to sleep a lot, you know...
I am going to need an advanced chemistry set and a computer with an internet connection. I can’t say why, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with taking over the world from my stall.
DonnieDear Santa Claus,
I was watching my favorite movie, “The Wizard of Oz,” and I thought it might be nice to get a heart just like the Cowardly Lion for Christmas. Not that I’m cowardly, I’m just... cautious :-\ But I’d like the nerve to be ridden so I can get out and do all the fun stuff I used to do before. I used to trail ride and jump and hack in the field with other horses, and I miss all of that. I’m happy just lunging now, but I’d really, really like to not be afraid of my girth and saddle and my people sitting on my back. I know that’s a lot to ask, so if you can’t do that, maybe you could help me with something else? I’m already a little thin on top, and I lost a lot of forelock due to burrs this season... I’d like a forelock toupee so I can really impress the ladies – they don’t call me “Don Juan” for nothing!
First on my list has to be Stud Muffins! They’re my favorite, but since I can’t be ridden much these days, I hardly ever get them anymore :-( I’d also like a helmet, full body armor like the knights’ horses used to wear, and maybe some bubble wrap. I’ve been such a klutz lately and I’m getting tired of getting hurt! And how about a sleep machine with soothing ocean sounds so I don’t have to listen to everyone else in the barn snoring and I can finally get some rest at night?
For Christmas I only want everything I’m entitled to as is befitting my status as Queen of the Realm, uh I mean herd. It’s a short list but I need every item listed as follows:
Hot tub in the wash stall
Personal hair stylist/groomer
Lighted mirror in my stall
Remote control door opener/closer
My own personal suite of stalls complete with TV, refreshment bar, snack refrigerator (stocked with goodies), velvet drapes, new stall mattress and a framed oil painting of myself
Different mane and tail extensions for different looks …7 should do it, one for each day of the week
An assortment of blankets and coolers - my preference for this time of year is fur preferably mink
New saddle and bridle with a bling browband (preferably rubies - it’s my birthstone, after all
Finally, I could use a little glitter hoof polish. I’m running low
It may seem like a lot but after all, I’m worth it, don’t you think! *Wink, wink big tail swish*
For Christmas this year I would like lots of treats. It doesn’t matter what kind, I'm not particular. I’ve never had a lot of treats because I was a show horse, but now that I’m just sort of hanging around and hacking out, I don't see how a few treats could hurt this year. I could also use a new halter, since the other horses keep removing mine and hiding it. But nothing fancy, mind you, just something strong and understated... like me! Since I’m an Irish hunter, how about importing some Irish clover seeds to plant this year in the paddock. I do so miss the green grass of home. If you can't manage that, I'd be happy with just a picture for my stall of rolling green hills. First Florida, and now here with all this white on the ground... it is making me sad. Come to think of it, a pint of Guinness wouldn’t hurt either.
Dear Santa Claus,
Being the eldest lady in the barn, I’ve seen quite a few things in my lifetime and what these youngsters don’t realize is how bad it can be for a horse out there. I don’t have a single thing to ask for this year. I already have more than I could have hoped for. A few years ago, I never even imagined I’d still be around to see another Christmas! I’ve got everything I need, and I wouldn’t dream of asking for more.
But, Santa, we both know there are a lot of horses out there who haven’t been as lucky. So if I can ask you for anything this year, it’s that you take care of them. There is a stack of our old blankets in the shed, and it would be my Christmas wish to see them go to a rescue where less-fortunate horses might enjoy them. As you can see, we have all we need here.
Merry Christmas to you Santa and all your lovely reindeer.