A Joke for Today

There's nothing much going on around here but I did get a cute email that gave me a chuckle. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Your Duck is Dead--D-E-A-D!

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.  As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.   After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck Cuddles, has  passed away."     The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"     "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the  vet.      "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything.  He might just be in a coma or something."     The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.  He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.  As the duck’s owner   looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.  He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.  The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.     A few minutes later he returned with a cat.  The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot.  The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.      The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,   but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,  a dead duck."       The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.  The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.  "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"   The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150." Until next time

Observations From The Fence

" O'Grady "

O’Grady is our newest addition to the herd; he’s been with us for over a year now and is one of the sweetest horses we’ve ever met.  Grady stands at least eighteen hands, also making him the largest horse we’ve ever had.  His personality reminds me of the new kid in school, a bit awkward and shy, on the playground with no real friends.  He wants desperately to fit in, so he’s always looking for an accomplice to get into some trouble with him.  Blue is his stablemate on one side and Donnie resides on the other.  We put them in these stalls in hopes they would bond.

Because I have nothing else to do, here are my observations from the other side of the fence monitoring this interchange between Blue and Grady:

Grady:  “Hi Blue, whatcha doing today?”

Blue:  “Nothing that would interest you.”

Grady:  “Want to play or groom or something?”

Blue:  “No.”

Grady:  “Blue, you’re like the coolest horse in the whole barn.”

Blue:  “I know.”

Grady:  “Want to be friends?”

Blue:  “Uh, no.”

Grady:  “Aw, come on Blue, nobody else will be my friend.”

Blue:  “How’s that my problem?”

Grady:  “Want to see me roll in the mud again?  I can get super dirty!”

Blue:  “Good for you.”

Grady:  “How about we go check out the back field?”

Blue:  “No, that’s a long walk for no reason; there’s no grass back there yet.”

Grady:  “I’m bored.”

Blue:  “Yeah, I’m starting to know how you feel.  Why don’t you go play with that little brown
 pest.”

Grady:  “He’s not my friend.  He’s always biting me and it hurts.”

Blue:  “You’re a big guy, stand up for yourself.”

Grady:  “I can’t, I don’t want him to be mad at me.  No one else will play with me!”

Blue:  “I can’t imagine why not….”

Grady:  “I’ll give you my lunch hay….”

Blue:  “Hmm, now you’re speaking my language.  What did you say your name was again?”

Grady:  “It’s Grady, can we play now?"

Blue: (Sigh).  “Maybe after lunch we can do a little thing I like to call ‘halter tag."

Grady:  “Yay, I just got a new halter!  Sounds like fun!!!”

" Blue "

Until next time

Quote for Today
Be wary of the horse with a sense of humour.
    - Pam Brown

It Wasn't Me !

" Dusty"

This morning upon arrival at the barn for morning feed, Dusty was standing in the grooming stall, which is next to her stall.  As she stood there looking as innocent as she could, we had a Vulcan mind-meld and the telepathy that passed between us was nothing short of amazing.  She was telling me how she had no idea how she came to be in the grooming stall; all she remembers from last night was she twitched her nose like Samantha in the old TV series “Bewitched” and, lo and behold, she was magically teleported into the grooming stall. She’s a little fuzzy on the details but she thinks this is what may have happened to her.

She has no idea why Mellon’s stall looks like an army of soldiers marched through it in the night, or why he is all lathered up.  He’s really such a baby. Maybe he had a nightmare? (And that nightmare couldn’t have been named “Dusty”…?)

And I should disregard those hoof prints in the freshly dragged arena; they weren’t her hoof prints and she was definitely not roaming around investigating things last night.

Dusty has no idea how piles of manure got sprinkled around the outside of the barn on the lawn.  Maybe it was the deer or the foxes or an errant dog perhaps?  Or maybe it just fell out of the wheelbarrow on the way to the dumpster?  You know how messy humans can be.

Oh and she has no idea how pansies taste either.  There is absolutely no way she would have gone into the gardens in front of the barn and tore it all up and then snacked on the pansies.  She would never do that!  The footprints in the mulch are also from those pesky foxes.

If there is any lingering doubt in my mind that she had anything to do with the destruction in the night one needs only to look at her stall and the innocent expression on her face. As she has so meaningfully pointed out to me, her stall guard is still up and do I seriously think she could fit under it?  The only rational explanation is she must have had an out of body experience or perhaps been beamed-up by aliens and re-deposited in the wrong stall upon returning to earth. How else could she have mysteriously wound up in the grooming stall? Really, it’s the only explanation.

Sounds good to me, how about you. Are you buying any of this?

Until next time

Quote for Today

A little horseplay... the way best to enjoy a summer day!